My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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