it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
