then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
