We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
