And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
