i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
