I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
