I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
