Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
