You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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