sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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