so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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