Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
