My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
