i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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