thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
