So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
