she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
