redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
