If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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