He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
