wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
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There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
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