I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
