I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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