hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
