Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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