We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
