ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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