so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
