Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Randomize
