Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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