my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
