I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize