it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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