I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
