in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
