he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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