You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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