Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
