My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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