Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
