Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
