Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
