I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize