Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
