i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
