I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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