This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
