the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
