Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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