oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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