Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
