I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
