I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
