Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
