Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
