I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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