So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
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you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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