So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
