So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
