I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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