The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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