He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
