Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
