What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
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'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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