Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life