The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage