i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
