pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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