One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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